Remaining Faithful

A little more than a year ago, I really started practicing my faith again. Not just going to Church occasionally and praying when needed. I started volunteering. This was my first step. I then opened my Bible and went to a Bible study that helped me to understand more of what I needed to do.

Life is eventful, it doesn’t go how we planned, it takes twists and turns and can lead to darkness. I have been struggling in my job for a long while now. It has stressed me out and pulled me away from my family, leaving me on edge. I applied for a few jobs over the last year. Many without any success, some with an interview, and a few that I really thought would be perfect but nothing happened.

About 2 months ago, I was really excited for this one job. I thought for sure I was going to get it. Again, nothing- this one I really think it was the money that I was asking for… But I did not give up hope throughout this time. I trusted that God had me in my job for a reason and the right job was right around the corner.

My husband and I decided to buy a house. You do not make a job change during this time or else it could mean a lot of paperwork and sometimes a denial… So I decided, I will give my job one final try. I would work my butt off to see if things changed and maybe discover why God has kept me here.

A few weeks ago, in pure frustration, I pulled out my phone and applied for this job in town. I’ve applied with this company before and never heard a peep. That was a few years ago. So, I applied for the job through Indeed fully thinking that I would not hear a thing. Not the case. I got an email within a couple of days from hr saying I’d like to do a 30-40 min phone interview. I thought wow that is long for a phone interview, probably will end up around 20 mins.

No, it was the full 40 mins and it was like talking to an old friend- okay about my previous jobs and my talents… and many other job related things so not really a conversation that I have with my friends but seriously it went so well. I was asked to come in the following Wed for a in person interview with 3 other people. Now this was awesome. I tell you, it was home. I walked in and from the moment, I walked through that door, it felt like this is where I belong. It wasn’t about trying to impress, although I did have to do that. It was home… I can’t explain it in any other way. They wanted me to start as soon as possible but settled for me putting in my 2 week notice. Which I couldn’t do right away anyway. New home closing was 1 week from that interview.

I truly believe God has a plan for our lives. If we are just patient and trust in Him, He will reveal it to us in His timing. Many times we will figure out why we have to wait. I know that this was lined up ever so perfectly for my life (as the next day after the interview, things went south at my current job and I decided that I would be done no matter what- I hadn’t got the official word from HR that I was moving forward until later that Thurs even though those I interviewed with very much hinted towards it). We closed on our new home last week and I start my new job next week.

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-

I am a runner

Today I was out running and this happens frequently while running. I was thinking about how I need to get my speed down. How if I do not do this, how I can’t be considered a runner. My time is not good enough. Then I flash back to when I was that kid- kids made me believe I was fat and slow. I was not skinny but by no means when I look at my pictures do I see fat. But…

At that time I believed them. I was not athletic and I hated the mile run. I always came in as one of the last kids to finish.  This was torturous. I mean seriously it stressed me out. First because I knew that I couldn’t run it. Second, I knew that I would come in last and third because I knew that I would be teased.

So now back to me being a runner. I have worked hard to tell myself this.  Why? because I started to think you are a fake, you can’t do this. What are you thinking? You have a bad hip and back. This isn’t going to work out. You are still fat and you think you can run that? It is so hard to overcome the past and move on but guess what?

I have been running for 1 year. I started racing in June of last year and start practicing now. I walked part of my first race and it took me 50 minutes to complete, if not a little more. Today, I can do it under 40 and working on getting it under 36 mins. My first mile that I did today was 11:30! The wind psyched me out so my second mile had more walking and was tough, plus that is the part with the huge hill but I still ran that part. Yes, I powered through those thoughts.

I am strong and am capable. I AM a RuNnEr!

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-

A Sunday School Lesson

I teach 2nd grade Sunday school, which is a complete joy, even though 12 eight year-olds can be rough. Yesterday, I got to learn the lesson. There is this sweet, very energetic girl in my class. She is a girl that I have thought about before as she seems to be “left out”. The other girls tolerate her but also seem to not make a point to sit by her. I noticed this a while back but since I didn’t really know, I let it go.  She is the sweetest girl to them- when one comes in late, she’ll say, “yay, so and so is here” or like yesterday, “I get to sit by so and so, this is exciting since it’s been so long”.

So this brings me to yesterday. This girl was very energetic, as usual. She was moving things around, interrupting others, and just loud. So when she was trying to move something or fiddle, I put my hand on top of hers to get her to stop. She turned it into the game where you try to get your hand on top. So we played that for a while and had a small conversation while still keeping the lesson going. She said to me that my skin was so fair compared to hers (yes, this is very true, as I am very pale).

I explained how I have Swedish in my background and she replied with how she has a very little Native American in hers. I said that was the same as my dad, who also has a very little French in him. I said how he was much darker than me, like her. I told her I take after my mom, who was also very pale. She than said that she hopes that she doesn’t take after her mom. I asked her why and her reply was that she was f a t. It did take me a second to figure out what she meant (kind of cute spelling it out- like us parents tend to do when we don’t want super young kids to understand us).

I turned to her and said you know that can play into health, a medical type condition. She, then, said to me that they think her mom might have diabetes.  I told her that I have a daughter with diabetes and she looked shocked. I said there are different kinds and this is not something that you can help because it is something in the body. I told her how K has to take up to 5 shots a day because of hers and her mouth dropped. She wanted to meet her.

Oh how I wish I had the time to really talk to her. After, we huddled for a game and she wanted to be close to me. She needed contact- she didn’t mind the hand game because she needed that. After all this, I just felt like she puts on this tough act because she is craving the attention. She talks all the time, interrupts all the time, is very distracting to the class- you know the kid that I’m talking about if you ever been in a classroom.

Have you ever stopped to think about this kid? The longer that I work with the kids in the Church, the more I realize that this is their safe place. They want to thrive. There is no judgement. I remember volunteering when my kids were little in there 2nd grade math class. There was this boy that was like this and I remember the teacher telling me that it is sad because the parents of this boy did not care. She or the school would call them and they would not do anything about his behavior. They didn’t come to anything or participate at all. So in a way the school was raising this kid. This is sad.

Back to Sunday school; I’ve seen kids who are so shy, open up and really participate. They have so much fun. They just want to feel a part of something and this is somewhere that they can go to learn and know that they are cared about.  By now, you are probably wondering how I was able to have so much side conversation. I co-teach and this was my week off. So I sit with the kids and “learn” with them. I participate and help to keep those who are a bit more energetic to keep peace. It is an awesome experience to be on both ends of the teaching and learning.

I love my journey in giving back.

Matthew 28:19-20:
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-

Life is Interesting

I’ve had a pretty hard life. Some people tell me they don’t know how I do it and honestly many days, I don’t either. I see so many people struggle and have it much worse than me. I praise God for what I do have. I’ve been broken and sometimes wonder when I will break again. I been bullied and scared to the point of I was not sure what tomorrow would bring. I prayed through these times that God would pull me through.

I know that each one of these struggles made me who I am today. Sure I have broken moments but I am so incredibly strong. My heart is so full of love and compassion that I can hardly contain it. I have forgiven many that maybe didn’t deserve forgiveness. I haven’t lost my temper when many would have gone off the deep end at someone. I am strategic in my every word and action. I know these things have made me that way but I am so proud of who I am, who I have become.

I look forward to the person I will continue to grow into. Today has been an interesting day. The first moment that I looked at my phone, I had a message from someone I went to school with. They asked me for my forgiveness on they way they treated me in school. The thing is, I did a long time ago. I learned a long time ago it is better to forgive than to hold on to anger. We had become friends on facebook a while back and I’ve seen who he has grown into. The truth is that for this particular person, I know they were mean to me but not like others so I really couldn’t tell you anything that stuck out. Name calling, maybe blocking me from going somewhere but nothing in comparison to others.

I know that is sad to say. I have forgiven the others as well. There is always the one that I have forgiven and prayed about. Maybe one day, I will finish my book and I’ll actually tell the story but until then you may get a glimpse of this person here and there. Life is funny, you can take those hard times and really live in them. Let them take you down and not recover. OR You can let them drive you to do something. I do believe this is why I am an achiever. I want to prove that I am smarter and can do anything. But I also know that this has made me a person that can handle things in a way that many can’t.

I will always put my trust and faith in the Lord. I am the woman that when the feet hit the floor, the devil says oh crap she’s up. I encourage you to learn what makes you stronger, focus your energy on doing well at it, and show the world you are beautiful from the inside out. Let the Lord shine through you. This is why I write and share.

Much love to you all!

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-

Jesus was bullied 

Probably in the worst way possible
Did you know that there and 10s of thousands Christians persecuted around the world yearly? Yes, people today will be put to death for believing. Would you be able to stand up in such a way?

Jesus was plotted against like so many of us feel when we are bullied. In Matthew we see the Pharisees plot on how they might kill Jesus.

13 Then he said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” So he stretched it out and it was completely restored, just as sound as the other. 14 But the Pharisees went out and plotted how they might kill Jesus.

Jesus knew what was coming. He knew if he continued that a certain beating- suffering was coming. One that was so cruel and intentional, that we can not even begin to imagine the torment. But Jesus continued to heal and spread the word. He remained strong where many of us would crumble, run, hide, or get angry. It amazes me the torment that he dealt with to save us.

In Matthew 27 we read about this torture:

28 They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, 29 and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. 30 They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. 31 After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him.

Can you imagine the beating? I know what it was like to be plotted against, to be pulled aside, and to be hit. I know there are scars that cut deeper- that one day, I will talk about. But to take on the sin for all is a pain that I cannot imagine. So what should we do it about it? Be better than all the pain and suffering. Jesus was calm, he was caring, he helped others and reaped so many other rewards for this.

Mark 16 says:

15 He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. 16 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. 17 And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons;

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-

The Drive-Through Difference 

Have you ever had your food or drink paid for in the drive through? It is pretty amazing isn’t it?

For me, I feel God talking to me in that moment. The first time, boy was I in a mood.  It was early morning and everything seemed to be going wrong that morning. My oldest she needed a ride to work and begged me to run to Caribou. So I did. She was going to pay for a coffee for me and I was still cranky. Suddenly we get to the window and they were like the guy in front of you paid for your drinks. My mouth dropped. I have thought about doing this so many times but I always forget when I go to pay.

Then, this past Saturday. My husband and I were in a hurry, running behind, as usual on the weekend. I had a lot of houses to show this day and lucky the first couple were for us so we were able to get caught up. I was stressing so much about the day and the decision that we were making. I will admit when I’m stressed like that I’m a bit snappy. Again, pull up to the window and they were like we will get those drinks out for you the couple in front of you paid for them.

Wow, I stopped dead in my tracks. That power when God says stop is truly amazing. Immediately, I went to him and said I’m sorry Lord, I know need to slow down and just trust you. This is an area, like so many others, that I am struggling in. We overbook ourselves, work two jobs, run here and there for the kids, for our parents, for everyone around us and many times, we forget to take a moment to praise Him, to listen to Him, to run for Him.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor. James 4:10

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-

More than One Type

What do I mean? Well did you know there is 3 types of Diabetes? Me either 3 years ago. I, like you probably, thought what I saw on tv was it. 1 type and it was for people who are overweight. I also had a concept that sugar was a contributing factor. Boy was a I wrong and it took finding out in the worse possible way.

As you know, if you read my blog this far, my at the time 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 when she was 12. It is a auto-immune disease that attacks the pancreas. (if you know anything about the thyroid, there is a type that does the same to that) When some has this, their body stops producing the insulin. Okay, so what is insulin- good question. It is a hormone produced in the body to break down glucose (yup that is sugar) from the food that you are eating and it helps to turn it into energy.

Okay, so where do you find Glucose- in our carbs. So if your body is no longer producing insulin- what happens to it. Well the glucose can no longer be transformed to energy and the body begins to run high with sugar. So your body being as smart as it is craves water but you can never get enough. If you are drinking that much water what happens? Yup, you got it you pee a lot. I mean like all the time- why? Your body is saying help me! I need to get rid of this stuff in my system. The energy goes down, your body produces a ton of yeast and it becomes sicker and sicker. This is why type 1 is also called insulin dependent.

So what is type 2? Well, this is typically the one that you see over-exposed on TV but not necessarily in the right light. The factors that you see can play into it, the diet, not exercising enough, and of course the overweight aspect but there are also hereditary factors. And it CaN be controlled through diet and exercise BuT sometimes that will not make the difference, as the person may still need meds to help control. It is one that is typically found in older people but there is a epidemic among younger people happening. This one is also know as insulin resistant.

Type 3 is not common and really more new in findings. It comes in people struggling with Alzheimer’s. This is where the resistance occurs in the brain and can develop in people who show no connection to diabetes prior.

There is also a form a diabetes that only happens when you are pregnant. And again usually controlled by diet.

Did you know that Type 1 cannot be controlled by diet? I mean a diet can help but I have seen a child that has not eaten 1 thing, in fact can be throwing up and their blood sugar still runs high. They need a minimum of 4 shots a day typically- usually the same for blood checks. One other fun fact and really this can be for any type but especially important in type one- they need to carry sugar with them everywhere. Sometimes their blood will run low in sugar for whatever reason and it can be deadly. If you ever see a diabetic acting like they are drunk or out of it enough that they really don’t make sense- give them a juice box or candy- get it in their system fast. I can a needle with me ready to inject sugar (Glucagon) in her system fast. If a diabetic passes out, that is not good and they need sugar now. On the flip side being high for too long can cause their body to start shutting down. Unfortunately, My girl was starting that process before we figured it out. Not terribly, but her potassium was 2.5 and needs to be above 3. This affects the heart. So much more to learn on it but this gives you an idea on why I think its important to understand.

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-

What diabetes means to me

Diabetes to me is a 12 year old girl losing so much weight that she looks sickly. It is that same girl who drinks so much water and peeing it out so quickly that, that is all she does. It is that same girl who then can longer eat because all it does is make her sick. A sore throat due to thrush and a yeast infection. Okay so none of these systems scream out to you diabetes but guess what, they are.

The night that we discovered how sick our girl really was, was the scariest night for me. I mean what the heck? Isn’t diabetes for overweight people? She is tiny- I don’t get it. Well the misconception that we are lead to believe about diabetes is not even fully true about Type 2 diabetes. This is the type of diabetes that they try to play out on TV. Yes, the Biggest Loser had a lot of type 2 diabetics but guess what sugar and weight is not the primary cause!

So back to the 12 year old girl that my daughter once was. Did you know that sugar can save a diabetics life? So how does a child get diabetes. Well, typically they are born with it but their pancreas is able to hang out for a while. Each kid is different on when it will decide that it doesn’t want to work right.  For my daughter, like a lot of diabetics, get it when puberty hits. Crazy, right? Can you believe that?

I cannot believe how much I learned in the hospital at that time and I am still learning 2.5 years later. There is a whole nother set of rules for when they have the normal sicknesses that fly around the school. So yea the stomach flu is tricky. A fever is another kind of tricky. We are talking highs and lows and doubling insulin or have Glucagon ready to go in case she continues to go low and cannot eat.

4 blood checks a day at minimum, which leads to 5 shots at a minimum each day. There is a day time shot for food and highs and a night time shot that helps her body to lower sugars throughout the whole day. A healthy number for a diabetic is not the same for everyone else. Everything changed that day. Oh and did I mention the fact that if she does a blood check/ shot, she really can’t eat – do another shot/ blood check for another 3 hours. But that all depends on the time of the day and how many checks she has already done.

So the next time you want to say sugar leads to diabetes. Take a moment to think of the diabetics who actually need it to live.

Lots of love to you and your families- hug your kids!

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-

Discovering myself

Lately, I have been stuck in a rut and really actually learning who I am. The learning part started when I started this job just about 2 years ago.  This was the first time that I was introduced to the Strengths Finder, which is a book/ test that helps your to know your greatest strengths and how they affect you.

I discovered that Belief, Strategic, Individualization, Learner, and Achiever are my greatest. Belief and Learner was no surprise and I know that anything that I believe in, I will stand up and fight.  I could learn forever. The other three, once I knew what they meant, I knew them to be true too.

The one that surprised me the most was achiever. Why, you ask? Well, you see when I see that word, I instantly think of someone who is at the top. You know the top sales person, which I have never been. I might have helped the top person get there because I have that learner ability, which includes sharing my knowledge but I have never been that person that needed to be the top sales person.  Her e is what I found out; I like checkboxes and better yet, I like them checked off. Okay, yes I AM an achiever.

Strategy, hmmmm.  I’ve always seen everything as a map. I remember trying to explain this to my husband once and he was like hunh? So seriously though. Every option available is on my map. The path to get there is all the content for the situation and I see where it would cause curves around a mountain. All the paths lead to the end goal and I can quickly see the best path to take. Well apparently this is strategic. No, it wasn’t exactly how they explained it in the book but when I read that, I knew exactly what part of my life it was talking about.

Individualization is a no-brainer but I don’t know that I realized that I was doing it. That is where I work hard to know something about a person. Have an upcoming trip? A kid in hockey? What is important to you? The next time I see you, I will be sure to ask you about that thing and make you feel important in that way. This one is kind of funny to me because I could never understand why people didn’t remember the simplest things and really, it would irritate me. Well, now I know it’s in my DNA, it’s a strength of mine.

This was great knowledge that has helped me to further discover more about myself and ask myself why do I do this. In the last few years, I have changed as a person. I am stronger than I ever knew. I know the biggest piece of why this is, is because I gave up trying so hard to be someone I wanted to be and gave myself completely to God. Sure, I still struggle but since I made a conscious decision that I would follow his direction, praise Him daily and learn how to be a better person based on who He wanted me to be. My life changed.

This last year, I have been struggling with my work. I was fighting and complaining all the time. I could not keep a float. This job isn’t for me. Once, I stopped complaining and trusting in God. I have an all knowing sense of this is where I need to be because God has me here. I am happier. I still have a lot of work to do. I have left it at work for the first time ever though. I don’t not check my email when at home. This is new for me. I have learned more about what I want in life. Where my focus is at and goals that will lead me.

I know that God will lead me a different direction if I try to put it all on my own desires to be a certain person. I also know God gave me my strengths for a reason and not to pursue them with everything I have is not obeying him. So my new goal is to do that. I have learned a lot from my parents too and that is the other things that I have been noticing but we’ll save them for another day.

Have a blessed night all!

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-

Forgiveness and Friendship

Okay doing some more thinking today. So I was thinking who do we forgive? It says in the Bible to forgive the people you are angry with so that your Father in heaven will also forgive your sins. So what does that mean for us. Sure it is easy to say forgive but can you do it? Can you forgive the crazy drunk that killed a baby? Can you forgive the person who sexually abused you? Can you forgive the mass-murder that killed thousands? We are told that we have to forgive, as Jesus did, no matter what.

So now what about are friends? Do you stay loyal no matter what they have done? Should you be friends with only Christians, as to not fall astray? The Lord hates evil thoughts but is pleased with kind words. Proverbs 15:26. John stayed by Jesus’ side at the cross, although consorting with this man was a crime. Would you stick up for your friends no matter what or would you have a limit? I know I’ve lost many friendships along the way because of different beliefs. I do forgive, even the tough situations. I pray for people who are evil to find the light and do Godly things.

I leave you with this:
Love each other deeply, because love will cause many sins to be forgiven. Open your homes to each other, without complaining. Each of you has received a gift to use to serve others. Be good servants of God’s various gifts of grace. 1 Peter 4:8-10

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-