The unknown

There are so many topics that I want to talk about. My head keeps going through them over and over. My running progress, my day yesterday, the state of the world (okay maybe more of a society thing), and the list goes on. It all boils down to time- who has it?

I feel like I’m struggling lately with who I am. Okay not so much that as to who I am supposed to be. The Lord pretty much shouted at me to slow down yesterday. I had an over all bad day. I should have started my day in prayer or at least the small prayer that I do right before teaching. The kids were full of energy and I felt alone with the 12 kids. I even called out my assistant as he was just as loud yesterday. I lost my patience for a moment and I ended up feeling guilty. (I didn’t do anything major but it felt so big as this girl is a sweetheart and I know she didn’t mean to do anything and I made her cry- ugh)

So I finally got over it and moved on with my day. Come to last night, I have no idea how it happened as it doesn’t make sense. Our garage door is slow, yes, but it usually is well up before I get seated in my car. So what did I do to run into it? It was just the bottom panel and it took my antenna off, as well as scraped the top a bit- nothing major but still how? Nothing makes sense other than God saying that I need to stop.

Which leads me to my running progress as guess where I was heading when I hit the garage, the gym to run. I’m on day 42 of my move goals but have missed 3-4 days of doing any exercise and have done some quick yoga sessions at night just to get whatever I need for mins in. I’ve had so much on my plate that I’ve had no time to get in much running. Although my timing was not bad the last 2 times that I went.

The last topic on my mind that I’ve been wanting to blog on is swearing and how it is so widely accepted now. When I was a kid, you would have gotten smacked or mouth washed out for saying these things. And taking the Lord’s name in vain was so not accepted. Now we have cute emojis or sayings to cover it up but we use it in vain all the time. It was brought up in my Bible Study recently and it really got me thinking. Why have we wandered so far from the rules of the Bible or even common decency?

Now back to the topic of the unknown. This does all relate on some level. I’ve been struggling a lot of what are my next steps and am I doing enough. I know I’m not doing a job that is my calling and I know it is hard to start in that field. Plus until last night I really didn’t know what that was. Sure I assumed based on the things that I love to do but didn’t know for sure.

In my questions about doing enough, I decided to take this Poverty Cure class. Best thing that I have done for myself in a while (besides running). There is a lot of discussion about what is those living in poverty’s God given talent and how can they use it. Well this brings us to the point of how can we help. But in that if you don’t know yours, how can you help? So many questions. Well I took 3 tests last night to get answers on this. Every one of them points to teaching. 1 pointed to prophesy and another to Evangelism. 2 said writing was high for me, along with knowledge. Faith was definitely strong, as well.

So where does that bring me? Teaching is something I love and wanted to do for a while. Writing, well you know that I love that or you wouldn’t be reading this. I think it is a combination of both with Christ at the center. Now, how to get into this, is the question. Oh and how do I do this all in a way that I listen to the message to slow down (which was one that was given to me also when Hermione was missing)?

So I will be finishing out some real estate transaction and closing that door finally, which is amazing to me as I knew God wanted me to open it. But there is a big part of me that believes that it was to do the transactions that I have up to now and the one I’m working on.

I’ve had this dream of opening a youth center of sorts. I would have my bakery out of it (something that I’ve wanted for years is to bake). But it would be, I don’t know an arcade style, maybe roller skating, yoga studio, bible study type of thing. No clue. I don’t know honestly. A safe place is all I know that I could teach out of and write in my spare time. I thought about the bowling ally that has now been for sale for a couple of years but I still don’t know what that looks like.

Sending All My Love!
Now tell me your story-

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